Tuesday, May 29, 2018

Talk About It

Wow.  I haven't been on this page since 2016  I aspired to do many things to pursue a career in health care because of my major, but life has changed.  I was in a relationship for six years, which ended abruptly.  I am in the process of changing my surroundings and learning to love who I am as a person.  I've always catered to everyone else's needs, but never my own.  I have underestimated myself for many years and downplayed my abilities to get things done until recently.  I'm on a different path now and I want to keep pushing forward.  This blog today was opened because it's time to talk about my feelings... which I've closed off for so long.

I was in a relationship for six years.  It was one of the happiest times of my life and I was set on spending the rest of my life with him (O).  O and I met when I was in school doing my internship for my clinical rotations.  It was my last semester of college and I was finishing up strong with 20 credits to earn my Bachelor's degree in Technology Studies and an Associate's in Medical Laboratory Technology.  He was a microbiology technologist and was a quiet soul, while I was a student learning the ropes to pursue my career.  I was full of life and potentially just looking to make friends, while he was busy with work but was free-spirited.  We met because I had to rotate with him in his department for a week.  I was reluctant to sit with O because many people have told me he liked to make many stupid comments, but I had no choice so I kept my mouth shut and pushed through the day.  It wasn't until the moment I sat with him to have lunch during the break is what changed my life.  We got along well and I made the decision about his character for myself.  From there, O and I became friends and sometime after, we started dating.

O and I became the power couple of the laboratory and amongst all our friends and family.  I wanted to spend as much time with him as I could because I wanted to pursue a relationship.  He was relaxed and happy with me.  My face lit up like a Christmas tree whenever I got to see him.  We were both focused on our goals for work and we enjoyed each other's company.  O and I went on vacations together, we worked together (in different departments), and we were always talking. We never ran out of things to talk about - whether it be about "the universe," his favorite shows, or even my favorite hobbies.  I fell in love with this man, and I fell hard.  He became my best friend and he was the man I wanted to eventually build a future with.  I never felt the need to look at anyone else because I was so happy with him.  I always wanted the best for him and to see him achieve his dreams.  I wanted to be O's #1 - I wanted him to be able to know how much I loved him and I wanted him to see what lengths I'd go to in order to provide a future for the both of us.

I'm not sure what changed.  I can safely say I've never cheated on him and I never wanted anything more than his love.  However, by the end of our relationship, I saw changes in him that I could never fix.  He tried to look at me in a negative light because I felt like his mother brainwashed him into believing I didn't care.  I wasn't able to spend as much time with him as I wanted to because I was so tired about working the night shift.  In his eyes, he thought I was blowing him off even though he knew I was always working.  He was jealous of my job in administration even though he made more money than me.  O stopped looking at the love I had for him, but instead started looking at all my flaws and insecurities.  He would put me down when talking about my career and he would make me feel like a fool.  He constantly disrespected me in front of others (especially his family) and made me feel like less of a person because he wanted to show off.  We argued about it in the beginning on why he never wanted to stick up for me and he said there was never a need to say anything because people (especially his mother) would always keep talking.  I let it go - but maybe I shouldn't have.

Here are the maybe's surrounding my thoughts:  maybe I should have focused more on my relationship than my work.  Maybe we could have made more time to spend together.  Maybe we should have talked everything out before it hit the breaking point.  Maybe I should have been less stressed about life and finances.  Maybe I should have been a better girlfriend and tried to understand his love language better.  The thing is - they're all a bunch of maybes.  After we broke up the first time, I made sure to fix these things about myself.  I gave him whatever free time I had because I wanted to spend as much time as I could with him.  I tried to talk to him when we argued and even apologized if I knew I was being irrational.  I told him to stop spending money so we could save up for a future together.  We talked about getting married, having kids, buying a home in and out of the country, etc... we talked about the lives we dreamed of having together.  The one thing we never talked about was the way HE felt about certain issues.  He let it all fester inside.  He told me everything was always all right while he tried to compete with me instead of growing with me.  O gave up on us.

Instead of spending the only day we had off together with me, O spent it going to his parents' house to talk to them because he was emotionally depressed.  He always listened to his mother because all she did was irrationally bring him up and tell him he was sitting on top of the world instead of assessing the actual situation.  She twisted all my words when I had a one to one sit down to speak with her and made me look like the culprit of a crime.  Unfortunately, that woman never liked me because "I was taking away her son."  O will never be able to grow up in that environment.  He will never be able to move forward and mature because he will always try to have his mother cater to him.  I say this heavily because he ALWAYS wanted me to do the cooking and cleaning at home and he never lifted a finger to help.  He complained about the dust and the dirt, but always left me doing the chores.  O complained about my erratic sleep patterns, even though I worked 10p - 6am (M - Th, and Sat).  He made me look like the girl who didn't care about anything but myself.  He tried to tell both his parents and mine that I wanted a man who would buy me everything like a father.  I told him he would NEVER be able to fill my father's shoes.  O was pretty mean to me... and insensitive.  He allowed his mother to belittle me and I always had to stick up for myself.  The only good thing that came out of this was that I became strong-willed and I always fought for what I believed in.

I knew myself as a woman and as a person.  I came out of an awful emotionally abusive relationship before this one and I knew what I wanted and didn't want.  I wanted to show O how much I loved and cherished him as an intelligent individual who always made me laugh.  He said the most outrageous things and I'd always give him a confused expression.  A lot of people came up to me asking why I dated someone who looked "gay" or "unattractive" or even "goofy" because I could have done so much better, but in my eyes, he was always perfect with his curly hair and fluffy body.  Love makes people blind and happy.  It doesn't matter what they look like - if they're in love, they'll try to keep those feelings to the best of their abilities.  No one ever wants love to end, but in this day and age, there's always an expiration date on it.  Society goes through the trouble of making things finite - just like that one episode with the dating app in Black Mirrors.  If people stop looking at the time and society's beliefs on where a couple SHOULD be in a relationship instead of where they're at, then life would progress at its own natural pace.

It's been 4 months since he's moved out.  The first week alone was probably the toughest one, but it got easier.  I mistreated me and disrespected me during our last few weeks together.  He yelled and told me awful things that made me never want to look back.  I wanted to write this because I want to let the burden of my deep emotional stress go.  I want to move forward with the life I've been living and the future I want for myself.  The dating game is so different these days and as much as think I'd want to be wined and dined by some wealthy business man, I don't.  I've always been independent and I've done things for me.  I want my life to be in a place where everything works out for me.  In the future, I want a companion who can accompany me in my journey through life and who could love me at my worst AND my best.  I HATE liars and I refuse to respect those who play games.  I also never chase after anyone.  Things should always flow.  I am shy at times and I have many friends of the opposite sex that I always hang out with.  I am looking to build a foundation of a friendship before I move forward in a relationship.  I guess for now, I just want to enjoy my life and see where it takes me.

I don't know if I feel like I wasted time on our relationship, but I have to look at the time we spent together as a learning experience to better myself for the next guy that comes along.  I want to show my next potential significant other my world and how amazing life is.  I want to push my next boyfriend to do better for themselves and I also would like to move forward with them.  I have high aspirations for my next relationship.  As of right now, I am happy and I am just glad I have my family and friends as the best support system with me.  The best part is, I can finally let go of my past and look forward to my future.

Saturday, March 19, 2016

Snowboarding Bliss


Hello all!  I made it a point to try new things when the new year started.  Call it a New Year's Resolution, I guess.  My friend wanted to go snowboarding for her birthday this year, and I knew it was the only way I'd be able to go.  Over the past four years, I've been wanting to try snowboarding but my ex told me it was too expensive to go (lift tickets, rentals, hotel, etc), but I told myself I was going to do this.  I was lucky enough to get a snowboard for Christmas from one of my close friends and I made sure to put it to good use.  After slowly collecting all the gear I needed for the cold, I was ready for the snow.  Personally, I really didn't know what I was getting myself into... but I'm sure glad I got into it.  Snowboarding for me feels as freeing as flying down the street on a skateboard back when I was 17.


The first time I strapped myself into my snowboard was a little strange.  I didn't really know how to shuffle around with one food locked into the binding and the other being free, but I learned.  I took many spills down the slope and almost suffered a few concussions (thank God for a helmet!).  I found it difficult to stop and slow down, but that eventually came with practice.  After taking a few lessons and practicing on the bunny slope at Hunter Mountain, I've finally been able to make it up the lift and down the steep green side without too much falling.  After one season, I can now do heel turns and toe turns without too much of a problem and I'm starting to learn how to carve the snow.  I'm not as scared to go down the slope either. 


I was also doing some research about snowboards and I never realized there were differences in boards.  I've ended up with two snowboards for two completely different purposes.  My Elan board is a freestyle rocker, which means it's a snowboard for advanced use.  This board is particularly good on the terrain freestyle parks and for doing tricks.  My instructor told me it's more like the "Ferrari" of snowboards, in comparison to most of the rental boards out there.  I pushed myself to learn how to ride this board and not allow the board to ride me.  On the other hand, my Burton Feelgood has a camber shape throughout, which allows for easier maneuverability and control as I glide down the slopes.  I love both my boards and I want to continue to learn by using both of them.  They're short enough for my height, but I ideally want to get a board that's slightly longer once I get better.  I posted a chart below to show the differences between boards, in case anyone was planning to get a snowboard for their own recreational use.
I've come a long way since January and I'm a bit sad the season is winding down, but what can you do... it's getting too warm for snow.  It's quite possible I can sneak in one more snow day before the season ends, but we'll see.  I'm going to have to find another hobby for the spring, summer, and fall before we can go back to this again!  We'll see...

Saturday, February 27, 2016

Back from Hiatus

I'M NOT DEAD!!!

Hello all!  I took a long break from this website because I had writers block, no time, and no energy to do anything.  That sounds pretty bad, doesn't it?  I was so comfortable living life in a bubble with a boyfriend I loved and cared about, working from day to day, and spending all my money and energy on random stuff.  2015 was the year that turned my entire life upside down.  When you think everything is going well, someone decides to throw a wrench into your happy little bubble to pop it.  So... here's everything that happened in a quick nutshell.
  • Having one job cut my finances in half and I was fighting for hours at the hospital (in case you didn't know, I work in a laboratory in a hospital - yes, I am a vampire that likes to take your blood... and other fun specimens).  
  • I was unhappy at home, so I decided it was time for my boyfriend and I to take the next step and move in together (which in an Asian household, is definitely shunned upon).  This further cut my finances into almost nothing every month.
  • I still tried to do the normal things in life, despite my inability to be financially stable... which resulted in more fighting with the boyfriend (since spending that extra money was pointless to him)
  • Having said that, a build up of debt, being unhappy at work, and constantly fighting with my boyfriend led to... 
    • a messy breakup after 4 years
    • being kicked out of said apartment
    • finding a new place to live in 48 hours without moving back to my parents home
    • forcing myself to focus on the board exam I've been struggling to pass to get my career going in the medical field
    • shutting everything out and depriving myself of sanity to focus on myself since my other half left me in the dark
Long story short, I've come to realize that all things have good and bad times... ups and downs, and even worse times.  Since all this has happened, I still haven't passed the exam but I've found my self worth again.  I've become a stronger person as an individual as compared to the person I was when I was in a relationship (someone who was dependent on their significant other for happiness).  Old friends came back to help me get back on my feet and become myself again.  I'm thankful for the new ones that came into my life to snap me out of my daze and I'm even more thankful for my family who helped me through my tough summer.  I went back to church and realized God really does work miracles on everyone, even when you've been away for so long. 

So after all that, you're probably wondering what happened to the ex.  Well, he came back to me... but we're just talking because I have too many things on my plate.  The year just started, so who knows where my life will take me?  After working 45 hours this week (now I've got an overabundance of hours), I've come to realize there is so much more to me and I need to find out how to tap into it all.  So... hello new year, hello to more blogs, and hello to life.  Let's start over and make it fresh.

Cheers!!!

Friday, October 17, 2014

The Dead Lives

Hey everyone! I know I’ve been gone for quite some time but I’m working on revamping this website to make it appeal to everyone. Between two jobs, working 60+ hours a week, and studying for a board exam, I haven’t had much time to do anything. I was traveling for a little while and went to California and Las Vegas for a few weeks, so I’m going to have to update you on my trip. I’ve also been adjusting to my new job at a different hospital… and finally had enough of the old one, haha. I ended up quitting in August, so doing that has taken a load off my shoulders and freed up a lot of my time. So… where do I begin…
Now that I’m back, up, and running again, I figured I would address the job situation. As some of you might know, I currently work in the medical field. I was so fed up with the current hospital I was working at because the people there are childish and pretty horrible. I got a call to come to an interview for a hospital further out east from my house, so I decided to take my chances and gamble on this position. I ended up taking it and realized after working both jobs for a few months that it wasn’t worth it to keep the old job. There were supervisors watching my every move to get me into trouble. I was getting called into the manager’s office because I was saying “hello” or “goodbye” to my coworkers… that’s how ridiculous it got. Once that happened, I knew it was time to go. It was the best decision I made this year. Good riddance. My new job is always entertaining and I get along with everyone here. We’re a close-knit group of people and no one ever fights with each other. We don’t have adults who act like children here either. It’s been pretty sweet.
My boyfriend and I ended up planning our summer vacation in California this year. We went to San Diego in July and I had the best experience ever! It wasn’t my first time going to San Diego, but it WAS my first time going to San Diego Comic Con! That was probably one of the highlights of my summer. I will blog about the entire experience tomorrow, but for now… here are a few tidbits:
• I managed to meet Seth Green and his lovely wife, Clare • I completely annihilated the Comic Con floor by grabbing all the free stuff • Met some lovely Black Milk sharkies along the way and stopped by the BM booth • Ran into my buddies in New York • Spent a crap-load of time with my cousins and my niece • Oh… and did I mention… MET THE CAST OF THE WALKING DEAD!!!!!!!!!!
We also went to Las Vegas and LA… which was also fun. Vegas is always a trip, especially when your hotel bumps you up to a suite with an amazing view. I visited more family Carlsbad and hung out at the beach. My lovely friend Cher, the owner of Poprageous, let us stay at her house and we hung out all weekend! It was the best time ever. I wish I could move there one day. I can never get enough of that place. Like I said, though… details to come!
Well, that’s it for now… I’ll get the ball rolling on my summer fun and explain how life has changed. I can’t wait to show you all my new polishes! They’re glorious and glamorous. You’ll love them. Anyway, catch you later!

Wednesday, May 14, 2014

Fitting In


Hello everyone... I've been MIA for quite some time.  It's been a hectic past few months, considering I started working at another job, started studying for my exam again, and took some time to work on myself at the gym.  It's been rough, but I'm slowly getting through it.  I want to start blogging again, so here's to me and myself.  Cheers!

I guess I'll start up by saying something I've kept inside for a long time.  I'm quite the lonely person.  I've always wanted to fit in somewhere, whether it be with my skateboarding friends in high school, the gothic kids, or the preppy polo-wearing students in AP class.  I was the quiet, hard-working, studious Asian who didn't really have many friends and didn't see any potential in anything.  I had high aspirations to become a graphic designer because of my love for art.  I wanted nothing more than to follow my dreams and turn them into a reality... but things changed for me during my senior year.  I had the opportunity to go to Cooper Union, an art school in NYC, but my mom told me she wouldn't pay for my school if I went for something "unsubstantial."  I ended up choosing a field they wanted me to choose, which was medicine.  I hated it.  I hated everything about it and my love for school became hate.  It wasn't who I wanted to be.  I wanted to be someone different, but I pushed myself to do something to appease someone else.  End result?  I'm stuck in a field I'm not happy in and I'm still alone.  Don't ever do something to be a people pleaser.

It took 26 years and two weeks (I'm turning 27 soon!  WOO I'm getting old!) for me to realize what I've been missing.  I've always wanted to please everyone and keep them happy around me.  I've always joined groups, clubs, and attended functions to get to know people and hopefully get them to know and understand me.  I wanted to meet someone who had the same goals and aspirations as I did, and get close to them.  Now that I look back on all of it, I never really had too many close friends who knew me well.  I can remember all the clubs I joined in high school... some clubs I joined were specifically used to show I was a well rounded person in college, while others were just because I had friends in there.  I did join two clubs for leadership... which were Art Palettes and Mathletes (social suicide, I know).  However, these two clubs meant something to me... they were my favorite subjects, so I wanted to prosper in those fields.

In college, I joined the Stony Brook Ballroom Dance Team, which I totally sucked at... considering I didn't really have a set partner.  It was fun, but I didn't find a group of people I wanted to spend time with.  I made "friends" with people on my entire floor, my building, and even in my quad... but none of them were as close to me as the select few I got so close to.  I had my roommate, who has always been my best friend (even though she's far away), my other friend (who moved to Texas), and... that's it.  I tried to make friends in Puso (Philippine United Students Organization) but that didn't really work out for me.  I guess I didn't drink enough and I didn't click too well with everyone to be part of that group... or maybe I wasn't Filipino enough... who knows.  College passed me by and I never really found too many people to call friends either.

By the time I got to my second and third college (I was a college hopper because I couldn't figure out what I wanted to do for a while), I had joined two Christian clubs in both my schools.  I made some awesome friends who really showed me the light of Christ.  I developed real relationships with these students and we shared a bond together... but at the end of it, nothing worked out and I was once again alone by the time I finished college.  I wanted to make an impact on the world by spreading the Good News to others, especially people my age... and maybe, just maybe, I touched someone along the way... but I still felt empty inside.  Something didn't seem right in my eyes and I still felt lonely, no matter how many friends I tried to make.  I am very grateful to have walked a path along with them for a while, though.

Blogging has always been the one thing I could always be openly honest about and never have a problem.  My blog is where I can truly be "me."  However, things changed when I started making friends on Xanga.  I got more followers for my blog, but at the same time, I wanted to get close to these people having meet ups and get togethers.  I tried to make friends with them and impress them by having a completely insane party at a hotel for my birthday, but it sort of backfired and I guess I didn't really make too many real friends out of it.  I thought being the life of the party (compared to the normal quiet person I really am) would have them accept me into their group... but I was still the outcast at the end of it.  I happened to get close to a few people along the way, so it didn't really turn out to be a total bust.  However, being snubbed by a bunch of people really hurt me long term.  I had a barbecue for my birthday the year after and none of those people who showed up the year before came, even though they said they'd come.  It was a real slap in the face for me... and I was so embarrassed.  I never really got used to that lonely feeling.

At one point, I tried to make friends at work... but the people I work with really can't be anymore than coworkers to me... because if I leave that place, like all other jobs, those people continue to move on without me.  Even when you get close to someone at work, it doesn't mean you'll be close to them once you leave.  I don't hang out with 3/4 of the people outside of the workplace, even though we always talk about going out and doing other things.  With my new job, I just stay quiet because I'm a bit shy to open up to others.  I know I'll fit in nicely if I just stay quiet an do my work, which is something I've been trying out lately.  It seems to be working well for me... so I'll probably stick to it for a little while.  Besides, I don't know if I have anything to relate to my coworkers with.

I've used the internet to be part of something massive... which was what I liked to call the "Black Milk Cult."  I say this because most of the girls on the forums are obsessed with Black Milk Clothing and they just spend all their money on nylon.  I did it for a few months, but slowly began to realize that Black Milk's entire strategy is to make girls feel special about wearing their brand and to allow them to keep buying "limited" pieces, since it will no longer be made.  Most of these girls have massive collections of nylon clothing, which cost at least $70 per article.  I wanted to be part of the "OMG I have to buy all the BM pieces of I'm going to die because I don't have it" group... until I realized how stupid I sounded and how much money I was spending for clothes I would only wear every so often... so that quickly died out.  Once you come to a realization for things, the truth comes out and it shows who you really have become.  I became the fashion mogul wannabe.  Hah... so much for that.

After countless efforts of feeling lonely and looking for my own niche, I found one that keeps me sane. I started going back to the gym constantly because I was getting tired of people calling me fat all the time and I wanted to get back into shape.  Working out grounds me and shows me I can still have energy after I work all day.  I push myself to the limits just to see how far I can go.  I've set up goals I'm trying to accomplish before the end of the summer.  I've made a few acquaintances, workout buddies, trainer friends, and networks throughout the past few months at my new gym.  These people are there to help me, but I know most of them go home to a place where I am not remembered... but hey, if they're at the gym, I'll always stop by to say hello.  However, I've come to the realization that I really don't need to find a group of people who I fit in with.  All the people I meet are there for a reason, whether it be to be with me long term or to show me something for my future... but just because I met them doesn't mean I have to get close to them.  It was a hard concept to come to terms with, but that's life.

I love being myself... and I am aggressive, kind, caring, and quite blunt.  I can be annoying, a bully, and I can over react when things don't go my way... but that's the package you get when you get to know me.  If you want to stick around, then by all means... come take a seat and have coffee with me.

Monday, February 3, 2014

Detoxifying H2O Fat Flusher



Hi everyone!  Happy New Year!  I'm sorry I've been MIA... I got a new position at work that has me working every day so it's been a little difficult for me to find some time to myself.  Now that I'm back, I'll be blogging more often.  We've been getting tons of snow in recent weeks, which has been hindering me from going to the gym since I have to drive.  I've been trying to find some alternatives to my lack of exercise and motivation by working out at home and eating healthier, but I have a huge problem with drinking juices.  I love juices, lemonade, iced tea, and other sugary drinks (I'm notorious for drinking a trenta-sized Valencia Orange energizer or a Passion Tea Lemonade - sweetened with classic and 3 pumps raspberry).  As juice can be good for you, the amount of sugar manufacturers put into these drinks are not.  A friend of mine gave me the perfect solution to this sugary problem.

He gave me his own concoction of "detox water," which was fresh water infused with various fruits and vegetables.  I found it refreshing and light, as it wasn't sweet but was satisfying to my palate.  I was always a fan of water with lemon, so I took his recipe and tweaked it to my liking and found that it worked well for me.  Here's what I did.

Ingredients

  • 1 gallon Spring Water
  • 1 lemon, thinly sliced with skin
  • 1 medium sliced cucumber, thinly sliced
  • 1/2 cup strawberries, thinly sliced
  • 2 cups green tea, cooled
  • 1 kiwi, peeled and thinly sliced
  • 1 cup mint leaves

Directions

Place all fruits and vegetables in a large pitcher and mix.  Let sit for at least 1 hour for the water/green tea mixture to saturate into the fruit.  Honey or agave nectar can be added for sweetening.  Serve cold and enjoy!
-------------------------

This water is not only good for you, but also serves many benefits towards your health.  Water is used to hydrate a person... after all, our bodies are made of 50-75% of water!  Drinking 6-8 glasses of water a day can detoxify your system alone as a diuretic by flushing out all the toxins in your kidneys and keep your body energized throughout the day.  However, every other fruit or vegetable you add to your water will only intensify the benefits.

  • Lemon:  The lemon in the water not only gives Vitamin C to boost your immune system, but curbs your appetite as well.  Lemons also help the liver by dissolving uric acid and other toxins in the system.  It can also increase peristalsis in the bowels, creating movement and eliminating waste.
  • Kiwi:  Kiwis are not only rich in Vitamin C, but also contain phytonutrients and antioxidants that help protect DNA.  These types of fruits typically help protect a person from having problems in the future, such as respiratory problems.  The vitamins also help boost the human immune system.
  • Mint:  Mint is a stimulant that activates the digestive enzymes that absorb nutrients from food and consume fat and turn it into consumed energy.
  • Strawberry:  Strawberries contain antioxidants and natural anti-inflammatory phytonutrients that help with osteoarthritis, asthma, and atherosclerosis.  Increased intake of strawberries can also decrease the risk of type 2 diabetes.  Strawberries also contain nitrates, which help increase blood flow throughout the body for increased weight loss while exercising.  
  • Green Tea:  Green tea is also extremely high in antioxidants but also is the ultimate fat burner because it melts the fat off the body.  It also increases metabolism by at least 4%.
  • Cucumber:  This particular vegetable also reduces uric acid in the liver while stabilizing blood pressure.  It also supplies magnesium, potassium, and silicon into the body, revitalizing the skin.
I've been drinking this water for the past week and I've been feeling more energized myself.  Don't believe me?  Try it out for yourself and let me know how you feel.  Until next time!

Monday, December 9, 2013

Winter Lip Smacked

Winter has finally hit and we're all dreading the chapped hands and chapped lips problem.  A friend of mine sent me a message yesterday asking me what were some good brands of lip glosses and balms for him to use.  Living in cold climate for the winter could really take a toll on your skin, especially parts that naturally are moisturized.  I gave him a list of suggestions, but I figured I should list my top 3 balms, glosses, and lipsticks so everyone can get some information on what you can use to soothe irritated, chapped lips.  I have sensitive lips, so only certain formulas and products work for me.

Lip Balms and Treatments


Nivea Lip Butter - $2.99 at Target and Ulta; this lip butter is probably one of the best and most affordable glosses I have ever bought.  They taste great and the balm itself is very moisturizing to the lips.  Your lips will heal on its own from the shea butter, glycerin, and seed oil.  The best part about this gloss is that it doesn't have any petroleum jelly, which usually leaves a sticky residue.  They come in 5 different flavors (my favorite is the Vanilla and Macadamia Kiss) inside small easy carry tins.  These small balms also add shine on top of its soothing capabilities.  If you are ever near a BJ's, they do carry this balm in a pack of 5 for $9.99.


Caudalie Lip Conditioner - $12.00 at Sephora;  The French got it right with this balm!  Apricot oil and grape polyphenols saturate this formula and give your lips a very soothing treatment.  It is a very lightweight balm that leaves a matte finish, giving you the luxury of putting a lipstick or gloss on top without that sticky finish.  If you're looking for a higher end, but effective product, this is the one to purchase.  The balm itself is easy to apply due to its lipstick-like shape.  I personally liked the light scent of the balm.  There was really no taste and you won't have to worry about feeling overpowered by the smell of perfume on your lips.  Don't worry animal lovers, this product is not tested on animals and does not contain any animal ingredients.  Overall, this is definitely the product to try if you're looking for something different.
Fresh Sugar Lip Treatment SPF 15 - $22.50 at Sephora;  This particular lip treatment is different from the ones I mentioned above because it contains natural sugars that help restore and revitalize the lips.  Upon use, it leaves a buttery soft feel and slight gloss.  What's great about this balm is that it comes in various colors and flavors, so you can pick and choose what you like.  I enjoy the berry flavored one, but the original tastes just as good.  The original has this citrus, almost lemony scent.  Each flavor is a different tint, so if you're looking for something with more of a color, this is definitely the one to choose.  What's also great about this lip balm is the SPF, so your lips are protected from UV rays.  Most people use sunscreen or sunblock on their face, but always miss their mouths because most glosses don't have an SPF, but this one is convenient so you don't have to worry when you go outside.  Sephora is currently having a Christmas gift set sale, so you can head on over there to see if they have what you're looking for.  They have a few sets of the different Fresh scents.  

I have a few other balms I love, but some have been discontinued.  Honorable mentions include Lotta Luv's Hostess Twinkie lip balm (yes, it smells and tastes like Twinkies) and Tarte's fRxtion, which unfortunately has been discontinued.  I loved this balm because it was a dual-sided lipstick shaped gloss and one side was for nourishment, while the other side was a sugar scrub.  The moisturizer was similar to that of Caudalie's, but a bit more slick.  It came in a compact lipstick case with an attached mirror.  I wish they still made these, because they were amazing.  Maybe if there's a high enough demand for it, they'll bring the product back.  One last product I'd like to mention is the Hurraw! lip balm at American Apparel.  I'd have to say this balm is not only great, but it's also natural and vegan.  Try out the Green Tea flavored one!

-------------------------------------

Loveable Lip Glosses

I have a big thing for lip glosses.  I love many formulas, but because of my allergies, I can only use a select few.  The ones I have tried, however, are worth purchasing because of how they satisfy my individual needs.

Bare Escentuals 100% Natural Lip Gloss - $15.00 at Sephora;  I'm not too sure if this product is discontinued yet, but this gloss in Pomegranate is probably my favorite gloss out there.  I've never had a problem with break outs, sores, or chapping with this gloss and it leaves such a high shine that it gives me the perfect pout to complete my look.  The wand has a brush at the tip for easy application.  I've stocked up on these from the Bare Escentuals outlet, and they come in a variety of colors.  They may have updated the formula and changed the name to Moxie, because I haven't seen these glosses in a while, but I hope the upgrade is just as good as the original.  If you're looking for a natural gloss with a lovely tint, this is the one to get.
Liplicious Dazzle-licious High Sparkle Lip Gloss - $10.50 at Bath and Body Works;  This particular lip gloss is loved by all my friends because of the glossy pout it gives to its user.  Not only does it have a non-sticky, shiny, glossy feel to it, but this gloss is packed with glitter to make your lips sparkle and give that sun-kissed glow.  When you apply this gloss, there is a wand applicator with a sponge tip to apply it evenly.  Not only does it smell delicious, but the gloss also tastes as decadent as the names.  These have almost a sheer to medium coverage and come in a variety of different colors.  They don't leave your lips as moisturized as the balms, but they will definitely be a hit for every day use or even the night out.  A few of my friends are obsessed with the Jeweled Coconut flavor, mainly because of the nude color and the iridescent sparkles.  I personally chose a darker shade, Brilliant Berry.  It brings a dark pink tint to my pout, but not enough to be overbearing.

MAC Lipglass - $15.00 - $25.00 at MAC Cosmetics; MAC has created a lip gloss line for all sorts of occasions.  They have their lip stains for tints, cremes, high gloss, high shine, etc.  You will not be disappointed with this gloss because these glosses are really for long-wear use.  They have full coverage and are tinted in any color you desire.  The wand sponge application applies the gloss evenly and smoothly.  Jojoba oil is used to keep your lips moisturized and perfectly kissable throughout the day.  It's a great buy if you're looking for something that almost equals the color of lipsticks.



-------------------------------------

Lipstick Appeal

Every person should carry their favorite shade of lipstick for those evenings out on the town.  My preferred colors are wines, plums, and even bright reds.  I've found some formulas to be better than others, and a few of them are even more long-lasting and worth the extra money.

Rogue Dior Couture Color Voluptuous Care Lipstick - $34.00 at Sephora;  This lipstick is long-lasting and provides full coverage to the user.  Don't let the price shock you.  It's worth the money because of their perfect formula.  Dior's lipstick has been known to have the right amount of moisture on top of its creamy texture, leaving the lips rich with color.  I use this shade in #728 Mauve Mystere, which is almost like a plum color and it stays on for a good 4-5 hours before I have to apply again.  When applying this lipstick, you don't get the small cracks and creases you get from other brands.  It also has a lovely scent and packaging to make it as "couture" as it sounds.  Overall, this is the #1 lipstick I'd recommend for anyone out there.  There are a variety of shades for you to choose from for both day and night.  I probably need to go back and pick up a new one!

MAC Lipstick - $15.00 - $25.00 at MAC Cosmetics;  I personally enjoy MAC's lipsticks because the wear on them is amazing, especially for the price.  I can't complain about the creamy texture of the lipstick because it glides on easily and stays for a good 3-4 hours before having to reapply.  I'm not really a fan of matte lipstick because I really love shiny, pouty lips, but Viva Glam I's matte formula makes me fall in love.  My lips look great with this lipstick and I don't have to worry about too much smudging or having lipstick get into my teeth (because we all know how embarrassing that looks).  They have other types of lipsticks you may like as well, some being long lasting while others were created by stars like Rihanna or Lady Gaga.  I'm a huge Hello Kitty fan, so I have the poppin' pink lipstick from that line... and I love the Barbie pink tint!

NYX Black Label Lipstick - $7.50 at Target or on nyxcosmetics.com;  Don't be fooled by NYX's cosmetic line.  I love their lipsticks because they're much more affordable than the ones I've previously mentioned and they still give you the same result as compared to something you'd buy elsewhere.  NYX created a great variety of tints and shades for you to choose from.  They all leave a silky, satiny, feel against the lips and will last at least 3-4 hours until you have to reapply.  I use the shade BLL133 Wine, which appears to have a dark fuchsia undertone and light shine.  Try this lipstick out and you won't be disappointed.


I hope my top 3's helped you pick out your next lip treatment or brand.  I'm sure there are many other great brands out there, but these are the three I'll stick to because I know they will last me quite some time.  If you're trying to figure out the right color for you, go to the store and test them all against your arm to find your perfect shade.  You can always have more than one!



Disclaimer:  I am no way endorsed or affiliated with any of these brands.  I do this for my own enjoyment and my own free will.